...
"...There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness..."
-that is true, isn't it? I mean, see it this way: when you found out that you've finished your studies, get a job that screams "MONEY!", and maybe even some lotteries here and there... those still won't promise you something called happiness or inner piece.
"...Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses..."
-then maybe someday when you get your own children, and see them walking step by step, going on a stage. And you see them getting diplomas with a full toga uniform. Then just before they go down the stage, they'll look at you. And smile. And maybe, just maybe, at that time you will find inner piece. There are always this littlest thing that reminds you of who you are and who you've become, and sometimes the biggest thing in the world cannot top that. Home, a mother's hug, a stranger's helping hand, to your first earned wage.
"...You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast..."
-It is funny how life sometimes works, isn't it? Time is funny. Because life would take you back, to nostalgic times full of memories, and that would help you to get on with your present life, away into the future. However, bad things happen, and sometimes they are all we remember. Maybe it's about how you treat the past, the memories. Do you let it motivate you? Or would you spend a great deal of time looking for it, to mend it in the present time?
"...You say that you know that the good Lord's in control..."
-Life works in doublings: good/bad, day/night, women/men. Well, there are people who believe in God, and there are atheists. There are people who uses their belief for reasons, and there are people who simply just believe it and does not question. But one thing is for sure for those who have beliefs: we believe that there is destiny and fate. Or maybe just coincidences. Po-tay-to Po-tah-to. A belief would demand us to believe that God's hand is always in control. And as much as any one of us says it, and tries to believe it, we do what we always do: forget. Here is another doubling: process/result. God has the result, and it is up to us on how the process goes.
"...And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go..."
-There are only two certain things in this world: nothing is certain but time and death. Time would always move on, and on, and on. It will not stop, not until the end of the earth comes by. And for us lively beings, time would go until death comes along. Everybody will be dead, somewhere somehow. And it is funny how we are so afraid of dying, as if life means everything to us. And what do we do most of the times when we're alive? We suffer, because life comes in a pack with obstacles. Or maybe we are afraid that we haven't done everything in order. But think of this: would you rather be in denial of death, or know your unknown closing scene exists? Either way, better be prepared.
"...Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all ..."
-And to close things up, this song is a reminder of how life is short. This is not to make you think pessimistically, and I don't think most of us are ready to think optimistically, but there is no harm to keep in mind the shortness of our existence. Do not stand in lines, but do something to make it worthwhile. Keep the good things that you already have, and do not screw it up. If the good thing turns to bad, then fate might be whispering to you that the thing is not the plan for you. And if it is true that our whole life is presumably planned, then remember that the fact that we are alive at all is very strange in itself. Why do we born? For what purposes were we created to live on this earth?
There is a chain that connects one life to another. We all exist to make a change, consciously or unconsciously, on the life of at least one other being. We do not write our own story. We do not really have the final say about our closing scene. But we are here for the sake of the next person. One dies, so that other could be born. It is very strange, and questions are out there without answers.
It's a matter of choice: Do you keep asking, or do you let it be?
26.10.09
11.10.09
We went here high, we left here dry.
Hey! So sorry I've been hibernating for the past weeks!
Anyways. This early Sunday morning I have this sudden urge to update my blog, and write about this one thing that a friend of mine had asked me to write about a couple of months before: the experience of being away from home.
Well, first things first, a short background work. It has been two and a half years after I first moved to Malaysia for study. I know it's judged as fairly close from home... I mean, you don't need that much time difference, not like if say you're studying in the great UK or US or even New Zealand. Malaysia is just below two hours by plane, and the culture is very similar.
Howeverrr... once you get on board, nothing is easy. Maybe it is a bit easier with the similar culture and a better possibility for your relatives to come and visit you (hence, the less homesickness), but basically it doesn't matter where you study. It is never easy.
As building a home away from home, here are some things that I have learned during my experiences here:
1.) Build your own semi-family
What I mean by semi-family is a circle of close friends. Because in most cases you would not have an actual blood relatives near you, your close friends are the closest thing you can get. But believe me, making friends is not easy around here. In high school, you might have an everlasting best friend that you still keep in touch until now. One good possibility why it's easier back then: because at that time, you don't spend most of your days with them. While in semi-family circles, you don't just group together for hanging out, having fun, and do homeworks. You actually cook for one another, being there when one of them is not feeling well, shop for your monthly need, and provide comfort when homesickness attacks. And that's only the good part. The downside with this is that, being too close with a friend might brings out their really annoying behavior that you couldn't stand. While in families, you are stuck with them; with friends, you can always let them go. So it is not easy to stay with a circle of semi-family, because after some times, you might realize that it is not about them. It's about ourselves and how we deal with things.
Another reason the word semi- is put in there is because that is how the relationship is. However close you are, however deeply you've grown in caring about them, you still have to find times for yourself. Just like in a relationship: when you got too clingy, you got dumped. Find times to pamper with your self, times to hang out with other friends, and times to read, and sing, and do embarrassing things all by yourself.
2.) Learn to prioritize
In every story, when a teenager who comes from a very family-minded environment suddenly found freedom in time, everything got ruined. The first time I got here, I was very much in love with my freedom. I went out almost every night, going here and there, trying new places as if that is why we come here. After some time, though, the freedom started to feel wrong. Well, yes, I didn't fail any of subjects in my first semester, but it does not feel right. So I learned to prioritize.
People, this is one of the most significant thing you'll find by living by yourself. Priorities are not just created for shrinks or self-help books, but they actually are the key for a good life. Learn what your first priority is. For us students, it is pretty obvious. We study. We might play hard (too hard in some cases), but the first thing on our list is we got to finish what we come here for. We need to get a degree, and come close on the second place on our list are most probably making connections for the future. And this is where the play hard comes about. We go to clubs, lounges, cafes, malls, events, etc. to make friends, so that maybe one day those knowledges we had and experiences we've tasted would be functional in the future. So, make sure you know your priorities. Believe me, it would save you from a whole experience of regrets, waste, heartbreak, and uselessness. (Although after prioritizing you life might be seen as dull and flat and not that interesting, but that is how life really is for most of us.)
3.) Be responsible
I know, I know. This post sounds like a boring self-help article. But come on, you know what responsibility is. It is what you do for yourself, and not for others. You pay the bills on time, you work your studying schedule, you hand in assignments, attend classes, socialize. You clean your room, do your laundry, eat healthy. And when someone ask you to do something for them, and you say yes, then you have to do that. This is not for that someone, but more for you, because everything that you do for someone sincerely would definitely go back in a positive air for you. And no, this is not bull shit.
For the things I mentioned above, it might be seen as cliche. Well, yes, some of it are cliches. I mean, eat healthy is like a myth for us here. But at the very least, know what you got and be responsible for that. It is a never-ending burden, but it's a sense of accomplishment. No one can get away from responsibilities.
4.) Open your mind
Being away from home opens your eyes to possibilities, differences, and varieties that exist in this life. Some stereotypes are true, and some are not. The least you can do is open your mind for all these differences and possibilities. If you keep off from doing things because you are scared or not confident enough, remember this: everybody is lacking. One might be able to speak fluent English, but he is rude. One might not speak clear English, but he is very easygoing. One might be the smartest guy and the most arrogant of the bunch. One might lack intelligence, but at least he had a good deal of fun. And another one might have it all... you just don't get what comes from his background.
The point is, there is never a need to feel ashamed because of your lack. As long as you accept it, it would be okay. There might be times when people laugh at your mispronouncing or accents, but screw them. First option: you can think of how funny some people's accents are and get the joke. Second option: you can care less because they are some bunch of narrow-minded people who thinks highly of themselves. Third option: block it from your mind, and just forget about it.
There are basically so many things you can get from living abroad by yourself. Some things hit you pretty hard, some things bring out the good in life. I have my own semi-family here, and we've watched each other grow in time and I just can't help but fall in love with these contrasting characters (I hates stereotypes while one of us loves stereotypes and joke about them. One of us is final in decision about friendship, either you do or you don't, while some are actually don't mind that much about being the recycling bin and the safe bet). I've prioritized my studies pretty hardly now, and I rarely go out anymore. I've come to be responsible about my own money, my offerings, my decision, although not really the cleanliness of my room. And I have opened my mind into the world of crazy, lacking people that just basically need attention underneath it all.
I heard somebody said before: "No one is older than a high school senior, and no one is younger than a college freshmen".
This might be confusing, but it is true. Everything that you feel like you have discovered in your whole life through school, will be reconstructed and challenged when you've come to the realm of university. More so if you leave home at that time. There is no argument that nothing is easy in this world. These are just some cliched wisdoms and experiences I thought I'd share with you.
Being away from home is a surprised mirror of yourself. Cope with it, embrace the lacks, and just have fun while you still have it your way now! :)
Anyways. This early Sunday morning I have this sudden urge to update my blog, and write about this one thing that a friend of mine had asked me to write about a couple of months before: the experience of being away from home.
Well, first things first, a short background work. It has been two and a half years after I first moved to Malaysia for study. I know it's judged as fairly close from home... I mean, you don't need that much time difference, not like if say you're studying in the great UK or US or even New Zealand. Malaysia is just below two hours by plane, and the culture is very similar.
Howeverrr... once you get on board, nothing is easy. Maybe it is a bit easier with the similar culture and a better possibility for your relatives to come and visit you (hence, the less homesickness), but basically it doesn't matter where you study. It is never easy.
As building a home away from home, here are some things that I have learned during my experiences here:
1.) Build your own semi-family
What I mean by semi-family is a circle of close friends. Because in most cases you would not have an actual blood relatives near you, your close friends are the closest thing you can get. But believe me, making friends is not easy around here. In high school, you might have an everlasting best friend that you still keep in touch until now. One good possibility why it's easier back then: because at that time, you don't spend most of your days with them. While in semi-family circles, you don't just group together for hanging out, having fun, and do homeworks. You actually cook for one another, being there when one of them is not feeling well, shop for your monthly need, and provide comfort when homesickness attacks. And that's only the good part. The downside with this is that, being too close with a friend might brings out their really annoying behavior that you couldn't stand. While in families, you are stuck with them; with friends, you can always let them go. So it is not easy to stay with a circle of semi-family, because after some times, you might realize that it is not about them. It's about ourselves and how we deal with things.
Another reason the word semi- is put in there is because that is how the relationship is. However close you are, however deeply you've grown in caring about them, you still have to find times for yourself. Just like in a relationship: when you got too clingy, you got dumped. Find times to pamper with your self, times to hang out with other friends, and times to read, and sing, and do embarrassing things all by yourself.
2.) Learn to prioritize
In every story, when a teenager who comes from a very family-minded environment suddenly found freedom in time, everything got ruined. The first time I got here, I was very much in love with my freedom. I went out almost every night, going here and there, trying new places as if that is why we come here. After some time, though, the freedom started to feel wrong. Well, yes, I didn't fail any of subjects in my first semester, but it does not feel right. So I learned to prioritize.
People, this is one of the most significant thing you'll find by living by yourself. Priorities are not just created for shrinks or self-help books, but they actually are the key for a good life. Learn what your first priority is. For us students, it is pretty obvious. We study. We might play hard (too hard in some cases), but the first thing on our list is we got to finish what we come here for. We need to get a degree, and come close on the second place on our list are most probably making connections for the future. And this is where the play hard comes about. We go to clubs, lounges, cafes, malls, events, etc. to make friends, so that maybe one day those knowledges we had and experiences we've tasted would be functional in the future. So, make sure you know your priorities. Believe me, it would save you from a whole experience of regrets, waste, heartbreak, and uselessness. (Although after prioritizing you life might be seen as dull and flat and not that interesting, but that is how life really is for most of us.)
3.) Be responsible
I know, I know. This post sounds like a boring self-help article. But come on, you know what responsibility is. It is what you do for yourself, and not for others. You pay the bills on time, you work your studying schedule, you hand in assignments, attend classes, socialize. You clean your room, do your laundry, eat healthy. And when someone ask you to do something for them, and you say yes, then you have to do that. This is not for that someone, but more for you, because everything that you do for someone sincerely would definitely go back in a positive air for you. And no, this is not bull shit.
For the things I mentioned above, it might be seen as cliche. Well, yes, some of it are cliches. I mean, eat healthy is like a myth for us here. But at the very least, know what you got and be responsible for that. It is a never-ending burden, but it's a sense of accomplishment. No one can get away from responsibilities.
4.) Open your mind
Being away from home opens your eyes to possibilities, differences, and varieties that exist in this life. Some stereotypes are true, and some are not. The least you can do is open your mind for all these differences and possibilities. If you keep off from doing things because you are scared or not confident enough, remember this: everybody is lacking. One might be able to speak fluent English, but he is rude. One might not speak clear English, but he is very easygoing. One might be the smartest guy and the most arrogant of the bunch. One might lack intelligence, but at least he had a good deal of fun. And another one might have it all... you just don't get what comes from his background.
The point is, there is never a need to feel ashamed because of your lack. As long as you accept it, it would be okay. There might be times when people laugh at your mispronouncing or accents, but screw them. First option: you can think of how funny some people's accents are and get the joke. Second option: you can care less because they are some bunch of narrow-minded people who thinks highly of themselves. Third option: block it from your mind, and just forget about it.
There are basically so many things you can get from living abroad by yourself. Some things hit you pretty hard, some things bring out the good in life. I have my own semi-family here, and we've watched each other grow in time and I just can't help but fall in love with these contrasting characters (I hates stereotypes while one of us loves stereotypes and joke about them. One of us is final in decision about friendship, either you do or you don't, while some are actually don't mind that much about being the recycling bin and the safe bet). I've prioritized my studies pretty hardly now, and I rarely go out anymore. I've come to be responsible about my own money, my offerings, my decision, although not really the cleanliness of my room. And I have opened my mind into the world of crazy, lacking people that just basically need attention underneath it all.
I heard somebody said before: "No one is older than a high school senior, and no one is younger than a college freshmen".
This might be confusing, but it is true. Everything that you feel like you have discovered in your whole life through school, will be reconstructed and challenged when you've come to the realm of university. More so if you leave home at that time. There is no argument that nothing is easy in this world. These are just some cliched wisdoms and experiences I thought I'd share with you.
Being away from home is a surprised mirror of yourself. Cope with it, embrace the lacks, and just have fun while you still have it your way now! :)
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